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Writer's pictureLauren Gowans

Why don't I feel a connection with baby?

Did you know approximately 20 percent of mamas lack an immediate emotional connection with their newborn babies? Pregnancy is such a beautiful experience, one that we glamorize and even at times fantasize over. Many different women have many different experiences and building a bond with their tiny human is one of them.


How our babies enter the world plays a major role in the connection we build with them. For months we prepare for their arrival. We paint the nursery or add a crib to our bedrooms. We purchase adorable tiny clothing, we collect every gadget we think we’ll need, and some might even take classes. We try to prepare ourselves to give birth, however, some of us don’t have the experience we planned for. This may be a sudden c-section or any kind of deviation from your birth plan. Trouble latching while learning to breastfeed, and postpartum depression are also challenges that can cause a traumatic experience. This affects the bond we hold with our babies in the first few days, weeks, and even months after giving birth.


If you have been wondering if this is normal, the answer is yes! You are not alone; it is absolutely normal to feel disconnected to your baby. While you and your baby are getting to know one another keep in mind that everyday activities are considered bonding. Bath time, feeding, diaper changes and more, are all time spent getting to know one another. If you feel as though you may need to seek help throughout your #postpartum journey, please don’t hesitate to try the following options.



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